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<h1 style="margin: 2em 0px 5px 8px; padding: 0px 100px 0.2em 0px; font-size: 2.2em; font-weight: 500; text-shadow: #cccccc 2px 2px 3px; border: 0px none;">After Infidelity-Stay or Go?</h1>
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<p class="by-line" style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;"><em>By&nbsp;<a style="color: #a30006;" title="EzineArticles Expert Author Tina Tessina" href="https://ezinearticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086" rel="author">Tina Tessina</a><span class="author-divider" style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;|&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>&nbsp;<span class="submitted-date">Submitted On May 19, 2020</span></em></p>
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<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">When you get the devastating news that your spouse has had an affair, how do you decide whether to stay or go? Because you feel betrayed, your first impulse is usually anger, and wanting to leave-fight or flight. But, after you calm down, you realize there's a lot you'll lose, and you may have children to consider. Don't make an instant decision you may regret later, after the damage is done. It's possible to find an extraordinary love after divorcing late in life, but most of my clients report the potential partners out there are no better than the ones they left.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">While I don't think you should stay and suffer if nothing's working, in my practice I see many couples who do the work and wind up happier than before. The affair may have happened after long-standing problems in the marriage, which can actually be corrected to the satisfaction of both partners. Often dissatisfaction grows from resentment, and the root causes can be fixed with the help of counseling. If both partners are willing to change what's not working, a marriage can be improved can be turned into a satisfying life of enjoyable companionship.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">I also see a fair number of couples who get back together after a divorce, because they had a chance to see what it's like to be alone, and to calm down and get over petty resentments. Unfortunately, now they're a lot poorer because of the costs of the divorce, dividing up property, and so on. Here are some reasons to stay or go:</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;"><strong>Top 5 reasons to stay:</strong></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; Your spouse truly recognizes he or she has a problem, and is willing to get help to fix it, and to be accountable for rebuilding trust.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You two are going to counseling, and understanding why the affair happened, and how to fix the problems.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You're getting your own sex life back on track, if it was off track.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You have a long, shared history, joint finances, and family ties that make it worth keeping the marriage together.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You still love each other, and it's clearly mutual.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;"><strong>Top 5 reasons to go:</strong></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; Your spouse is in denial, makes excuses, and blames you. This means he or she is invested in the cheating behavior, and not ready to change.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You have had it, no longer feel connected, and are not willing to work on it. Be sure this isn't just temporary anger.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You are prepared to be on your own.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; You either have no children, they're grown, or you're certain a divorce will be better for them than what's going on.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">&bull; Your spouse refuses to give up the other relationship, or infidelity in general.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">Working these issues out together will either repair and improve the relationship you have, or teach you skills and attitudes you need to know to make any relationship great.</p>
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<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5em;">Article Source:&nbsp;<a style="color: #a30006;" href="https://ezinearticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086">https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086</a></p>
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